Monday, Monday
A Moment with Kylie and Ella.
***Random Play
*Nichole Nordeman: Recollection: The Best of Nichole Nordeman
*Dave Yadin: Bear Me Up
*Danielia Cotton: Rare Child
*Natalie Imbruglia: Counting Down The Days
*Corrinne May: Beautiful Seed
*Tracey Thorn: Out Of The Woods
It's early Monday morning. I've been up for a few hours. I love the sounds of the city during the wee hours of morning. Outside birds are now singing. Our birds are still asleep. Ella did squeak out a "blah" while I was in the kitchen making coffee.
After Father passed away last year, I didn't really have a chance to grieve due to my work. Things didn't really slow down till March. By then, I didn't have to "look" the PR part. I gained quite a few pounds and allowed myself to misery away. Of course, that didn't work. I'm back on the wagon and doing everything right. Part of the reason that I'm finally doing everything I can to look my best is simple...Mother is planning a visit. I've got to look my best.
When Grandma died in '06, it was such a let down to see the whole family and I was bloated like a fat whale. I felt miserable inside and out. I know that I was there for Grandma but it still hurt when family members made fun of my weight gain. Because of that experience, I set out to lose weight and really focus on better health and nutrition. Last year, I felt great. I haven't felt that great physically since then...but I am doing my best to change that. I want to feel and look great. It's so frustrating knowing that I allowed myself to gain a bit of weight. Most of the suits and slacks that I bought last year don't "fit". I want to lose the weight and "fit" into those clothes again. That's my goal. I am thankful for friends that tell me the truth when I ask for it.Okay, I wasn't even planning to write about the weight issue but there it is.
Since Mother is planning a trip, I began the massive house clean up. Mother is a clean freak. I know that regardless of how much I clean, it will never be up to her standards. Anyway, while cleaning my room, I finally went through the drawer that included many of my Father's belongs. I often would open the drawer and lock it within minutes. This time, I spent time going through those things. My Father used to enjoy folding dollar bills into tiny squares and triangles. As long as I could remember, I never saw him fold a single dollar bill. I never knew this about my Father till after he died. For some reason, the fact that I never knew brought on a huge tear storm. As close as we were, I was angry that I didn't know that. Silly, I know...but all that matters is that I finally cried the cry that was locked within myself.
While at Mass, I had a Conversation with God. I thanked him for allowing me to have a wonderful Father in my life. The blessed memories and tiny folded dollar bills make me spiritually rich.
A new day. I feel the blessings of this new day.
Current Music: Danielia Cotton's Running
Current Mood: Thankful
