*Christopher Jak: Applause Of The Rain
*Mutya Buena: Real Girl
*The Script: Self Titled CD
*Francessca Battistelli: Hundred More Years
*Matchbox Twenty: North
*Britt Nicole: Gold
It's been a week. I believe it's my time of the month because I've turn into a snowball of emotions. Little things that usually are no big deal have become bigger than Life. Ugh...I hate when I get like this because my mind races, my tongue and brain reacts, and verbally I just lash out. So for most of this week, I've allowed myself to keep to myself, think, mediatate & pray. It's been the best self therapy. If not, I would have gone off on a few friends and that's the last thing I'd ever want.
I believe it all started with emotional binging. Lack of running, tennis, and working out slowly turns into shame and guilt. The anger sets in and I feel defeated. I know that there will be days like this. I have many days like this and I'm able to get up and move on. This time around, it just bogged me down so far that I lashed out on the What ifs. I know it's useless to even go there but I did.
Anyway, today I woke up with self Love and appreciation. It felt great to get on the scale this morning and be back to exactly where I should be. Whew. So I'm ready to try all this again.
This was my first week of marathon training. I am behind the required miles for this week but I know I'll make up for it. One of my biggest fears is the possibility that I am not cut out to run a full marathon. I guess I won't know if I refuse to try. Training during the hottest months here in Phoenix maybe wasn't the smartest thing to do. Luckly I have Tamra and Brandon, two speedsters, training right along with me for this same race. I know that they'll do they can to ensure I cross that Finish Line. So I just need to calm the F*ck out and Just Enjoy the Journey. Whew. Enough!
Let's get back to the basics and reality. So much to accomplish today I can't afford another day of self pity. Awakenings of the Mind & Heart aren't always welcomed but are much needed at certain times. Thank you for allowing me to vent and get back on solid ground. So let's do it. I'm ready to get back on and jam jam!
Current Music: Mutya Buena's Just a Little Bit
Current Mood: Widely Awake