Xavierism

Rose 'Sporty Diva' Coates

Rosie 'Rose~Sporty Diva' Coates on The Today Show - April 2008

***Random Play

*Kerrie Roberts: Self Titled CD

*The Script: Science & Faith

*Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Make a Scene

*Will Young: Echoes

*Andrea Marchant: Counting Down

*Goyte: Making Mirrors

The Internet can be a beautiful thing. It has a way of weaving and bringing people together. I remember reading various articles on the Runner's World site, I came across an article about a remarkable woman that lost 110 pounds. Anyone that puts their mind to making such a change to better their lives is on my Inspirational List. This woman was/is Rosie 'Rose-Sporty Diva' Coates. I immediately remembered she was featured on The Today Show years ago and was thrilled to see that she continued to live her dream and inspire others. I immediately reached out to her and we have continued a friendship ever since.

Rose has a long term goal - "to compile the profiles and stories of various people to be turned into a book to be sold on Kindle with proceeds going to a charity that centers around health and wellness (to be determined at a future date)." I'm honored that Rose reached out to me so that I can share my story. I'm so thankful for all the wonderful people that have entered my life while on this journey to better health and a healthier Life.

Rosie's Site: SportyDiva.com

Rose has made 'commitment to blog about various health and fitness related topics once a week and to include stories about people who have overcome their weight and exercise challenges OR who are in the process of transitioning into a healthier lifestyle.'

Sporty Diva's 98445 Blog

So please visit Rosie's Site & Blog. Let's work and help one another reach our fitness goals.

*****CHEERS!***** 

Current Music: Sophie Ellis-Bextor's Not Giving Up On Love

Current Mood: Healthy, Thankful & Happy!

Recollections

 

***Random Play

*Francesca Battistelli: My Paper Heart - Deluxe Edition

*Whitney Houston: I Look To You

*Matt Dusk: Two Shots

*Judith Owen: Here

*Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Read My Lips

*Will Young: The Hits

Great weekend. I kept to myself for the most part. I did enjoy a Saturday morning run and breakfast with friend, Lark. I attended early Mass on Sunday and returned home and meditated, prayed & spent time recollecting precious moments from my past. I sorted out boxes and boxes of old photographs, letters & cards.

I thoroughly enjoyed the 84th Academy Awards. I am happy that Meryl Streep took home the Oscar for the Best Actress for her role as the Iconic Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. I wasn't too fond with how the movie show cased the former leader as senile but Meryl was superb during Thatcher's peak years. I was quite happy to see that recognition was given to a woman that portrayed the Life of an amazing woman of the 20th Century. The Academy got it right this time!

I'm ready to start training for my next half marathon: Six Tunnels to the Hoover Dam Half Marathon. My right foot feels good. I'm so ready to prove to myself that I can run a better race after that last half marathon.

A close friend of the family passed away last weekend. This woman was part of my childhood memories. She had 3 children but I was close to the oldest daughter that was a year younger than myself. She was diagnosed with Cancer and after her long battle of illness, she was never quite the same. I had various conversations with her during the last of her years and she was simply tired. When I last visited with her, I didn't see the 73 year old woman but rather the young woman she was that I remembered during my grade school years. She was a strong and fierce woman. This served as a reminder that we are all apart of one another's lives.

This week I reconnected with former best friends during two very rough periods of my life. I'm so blessed to have these 4 people back in my life. Ann was a dear friend of mine just before I came out. We parted ways because she was engaged to her then boyfriend and didn't like our relationship. The three male friends became my best friends during the years I came out. They were there for and with me through the beginning of my 'gay' life. I don't know how I would have made it this far without them. Kim, Rodney & Harry were true gifts of friendships. Love or hate Facebook, it has the power to reconnect with the ones you've truly missed in your life.

I treasure the friendships I currently have and those I lost for one reason or another. Last Summer I was constantly praising three people for their friendship. Turns out I'm no longer friends with those three individuals. Sad but Life goes on. The blessings that resulted from those friendships were two people that are still in my Life - Patty & Arriana. I am thankful that my inner circle consists of the same friends as always. 2012 started off rocky but I feel the tide turning. I'm ready to get back on track and follow the detour so that I can get back on my path to this journey called Life.

Ben Rector recored an outstanding cover of Whitney Houston's ' I Wanna Dance with Somebody' on January 15th, 2012. This cover is special because he recorded this before the Woman with 'The Voice' passed away. He played all the instruments & sang the back up vocals. Love how musicans turn an amazing song and mold it into a song of their own. Hope you enjoy this cover as performed by Ben.

Simple Joys are all around us - they're like little treasures. Take a moment and search - you'll be surprised at what you'll find.

****CHEERS!****

Current Music: Judith Owen's Here

Current Mood: Wide Awake & Thankful for this Moment!

My Personal Review of 2011

Alana Davis - 32 Flavors

I learned so much about myself throughout this year. I've always wanted to be a Runner.  If running around the block or two every now and then qualifies me as a runner then that was me. Although I wanted to be a runner that actually entered running events and actually stuck to goals and program. I'm not a great runner but I get out there and run. Early in the year, I felt a great ease while running. It wasn't till I ran a trail 10K run in April that slowed me down. For most of the Summer I felt a bit sluggish. I also realized that with anything in life, one must have a plan. I allowed myself to veer off that path and take the easy road. That was definitely a wrong turn. I'm now doing my best to get back on track and get ready for a New Year of great running. I want to see results and improve my Personal Records.

Without one's health, you're nothing! Thanks to running I'm in better shape than I've ever been in my life. If only I didn't wait till I turned 46 to understand all of this. Now that I am 47, I want to feel at my best. Two major surgeries and another Cancer scare during the Summer didn't stop me. Moral of this chapter? If you're not feeling well or something doesn't feel quite right, have it checked out by your Doctors. Don't wait! Better to correct the problem than to face the consequences head on.

Like any other year, I learned a great deal about friends and acquaintances. Funny how one can feel so connected to certain people and minor events happen that allow their true colors to show. Miki Howard wrote a very powerful quote: "Everyone who says they're a friend doesn't mean they're your friend." Thanks to running I have gained so many wonderful and supportive friends. Running connects us so again I am thankful that I am able to get out there and put one foor in front of the other. Overall I am thankful for the true friends in my life.

Rodan and I have added another year. We will soon celebrate 12 years together. It hasn't always been easy but it's definitely been worth it. 

Omar, Kylie & Baby Ella continue to be the Feathered Angels of our house. Each bird has a personality of their own...just like children. I will have to post most clips of our babies throughout 2012.

Praise God, my Patron Saints and Angels for allowing my Faith & Sense of Humor to get me through the rough patches. My good friends are like tiny treasure...priceless. So I thank those that have been there for Rodan and myself.

To those that read my blog or stumble upon this blog post, I do Wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I look forward to sharing in 2012!

*****CHEERS & LOVE!*****

Current Music: Alana Davis' 32 Flavors

Current Mood: Simply Blessed

Standing Tall

Catching up with good friend, Valerie!

***Random Play

*Jimmy Needham: Not Without Love

*Nathan Angelo: Follow Your Heart

*Terra Naomi: To Know I'm OK

*Nora Jones: The Fall

*Chris McClarney: Defender

*Gary Go: Self Titled CD

It's been a while since I've posted. In the past month, I've found myself channeling deeper within myself. I've had look at the man in the mirror. Running alone for miles and miles may be good for the body and legs but not always great for the mind. I say that because I've found myself in need of answers to certain questions while hitting the pavement and realized that answers from God don't come when I want. It's all about Him.

Certain friends and aquaintances have shown their true colors. I'm sad about such revelations but thrilled to know that my inner circle of friends continue to be the same people. It's such a blessing to know I can count on such amazing people in my life.

Marathon Training is going well. Lately it's been a struggle. I was doing well with the mega miles per week. Stress during a recent trip somewhat changed that. I didn't run as much and have had problems getting back on track. I've been running with friends that push me. I'm looking forward to my run this afternoon. Life is all about adjustments. No excuses. I'll be okay...I don't have a choice. I want to feel the way I did when I ran twenty something miles per week.

"I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this shit." - from Thelma & Louise

Current Music: Norah Jones' Even Though

Current Mood: Determined

Faith Carries Me

Enjoying Pool Fun with Clare!

***Random Play

*Gary Go: Self Titled CD

*Allison Krauss & Union Station: Paper Airplane

*Natalie Merchant: Leave Your Sleep - Part II

*Terra Naomi: To Know I'm OK

*Sade: The Ultimate Collection - CD 2

*Alex Band: We've All Been There

I can appreciate this very moment. My Lungs are filled with fresh air and the glorious smell of just brewed coffee. Perfect combo! If you're reading this, you and I are alive. That fact alone is worthy of great joy.

This has been an emotional month. I've undergone two surgeries. The second surgery was to remove precancerous cells. The fear of the unknown can be overwhelming without Faith. I'm so thankful that Faith carried me through the dark moments. I'm also grateful for my wonderful friends within my inner circle that supported me throughout this personal hell. Thank you.

I had to take a few breaks from running this month so I'm behind in my training schedule for the 2011 San Francisco Half Marathon. I really had to push myself to find my groove and gain confidence heading into Sunday's race. I doubt I'll set a PR but that's OK. For this race, I simply want a decent time, cross the Finish Line with the 3 hour limit, and collect my Finisher's Medal. The weather will be almost 50 degrees cooler in SF than here in Phoenix so the heat won't be a factor. I hope to benefit from that factor alone. I owe a great deal to Running: I've lost weight and continue to keep the weight off, feel worthy of a glance in the mirror every now and then and not feel ashamed, and have become closer to God, Angels, & my Patron Saints. My Conversations with God during runs are meaningful and so very personal. It's true what my Buelita would always say, "Always carry a few strands of Faith in your pocket because without them, Life can be a lonely place." Faith carries me when I can't seem to carry myself. Thank you for allowing me to share.

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Terra Naomi's To know I'm OK

Current Mood: Thankful

The Little Gifts In My Life

 My Buelita's quote. Design by Vix. -Pic reposted from Feb. 1st, 2007 blog.

***Random Play

*Andrea Lynn Marchant: Counting Down

*Jonny Diaz: More Beautiful You

*Audret Assad: The House You're Building

*Jimmy Needleham: Not Without You

*Crystal Bowersox: Farmer's Daughter

*Kerri Roberts: Selt Titled CD

I woke up feeling blessed for the Little Gifts in my Life. Anytime Life is lost to devastions, I often wonder why is it that I live on for one more moment, one more day. I am thankful to share my Life with my soulmate. I'm loved and love. I'm alive. I have options. We live for loved ones that no longer have options. Allow Empathy to flow...

Heartfelt prayers to the people in Japan that have been affected by the recent earthquake and tsunamis.

"If you're feeling helpless, help someone."  --- Aung San Suu Kyi

Current Music: Kerrie Roberts' No Matter What

Current Mood: Blessed

Light of a New Dawn

The Brooklyn Bridge as photographed by Rodan.

***Random Play
*Sheila Kirsten Hughes: Perspectives
*Corrinne May: Beautiful Seed
*Jon McLaughlin: OK Now
*Celia Chavez: Sailor's Daughter
*Erin McCarley: Love, Save the Empty
*Nichole Nordeman: Recollection -The Best of Nichole Nordeman

We're at the end of 2009. I can't believe another year has whizzed by. I feel as though I should wear the gained wisdom over this past year on my sleeve. I'd like to believe that I've gained wisdom. I know I've learned lessons from the heart because I felt the emotional blisters.

Throughout this year, I have allowed more time to volunteer with Hospice groups. As a volunteer coordinator for a Hospice group and a volunteer for a few, it has taught me to appreciate all that Life throws at me. My Buelita used to always say, "It's not about the moments but how we deal with the situations." I'm a firm believer of that statement.

I'm thrilled that Rodan and I took time out from our lives to enjoy a trip to New York City. I've missed that city. It's been a few years since I was last there. To walk around in any direction and feel the energy of people all around me, the skyscrapers, the cold Christmas air that made me feel so alive. This was Rodan's first trip to NYC...and it was a thrill to watch him fall in love with this city.

Friendships. I learned the meaning of true friendships this year. Over the past two years, I have met so many people. Most will remain good acquaintances. A few will be allowed within my own space as good friends. It's such a joy to reconnect with old friends and make the ties stronger. I've learned to care about those that care about me. I'm so blessed to have such great people within my inner circle.

I feel as though 2010 will be a great year. Now if only the Democrats can get their heads out of their asses and get this country back on my feet. Oh yeah...thanks to Oprahama, I  learned more than ever that I'm a DAMN proud Moderate Conservative!

I can sense the Light of a New Dawn. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. Thank you for being you. I hope to blog more often next year.

*****Cheers!*****

Current Music: Corrinne May's Scars (Stronger for Life)

Current Mood: Excited, Empathy, Love, Joy, & Hope

Now is the Right Time to Help Others...

***Random Play
*Sheila Kirsten Hughes: Perspectives
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Nichole Nordeman: Woven & Spun
*Salvador: Aware
*Eliza Rickman: Gild The Lily
*A Fine Frenzy: One Cell In The Sea

This is my Life. It's not always about the moments but rather how I react to the moments and situations. I'm thankful and blessed for having such a wonderful support system. Family and good friends really keep me grounded. I always feel God, angels & my Patron Saints on my side. The Love is amazing.

If ever I had a problem with a friend, I would always care to confront and discuss so that we can get back on track. I've learned that one can't always do that with certain friends. There are those that simply cannot communicate in a manner that would allow for an open discussion. So I simply do the emotional downgrades and let things rest. One case, my good friend Stephanie emphasized how toxic a certain friend was...and it wasn't until former friend unleashed her true colours did I realize that Steph was right. This person is no longer in my Life. It's true what they say, we learn from each person that walks into our lives.

Open doors to the heart and good things will come. I believe this. I'll never forget a quote that Miki Howard wrote in her CD sleeve notes on her first CD: 'Everyone that says they're a friend doesn't mean they're your friend.' Great quote. I finally had a chance to thank Miki Howard in person after a concert and she looked directly at me and said, "Baby, don't ever forget it. You deserve the best people within your inner circle." That advice has stuck with me for years. Thanks, Miki! Bottom line, I'm blessed to have such great people in my Life!

I would like to thank Frank Dickinson, writer and blog owner of All About The Energy for giving me a Lovely Blog Award. His amazing wife, Ruth Ann, writer and blog owner of RuthAnn's Journey has awarded my blog with an Attitude & Gratitude Award. Thanks to the both of you for such honors. Thank you!

I will gladly display both awards on my blog and pass the Awards to other Blogs that I love and/or have newly discovered. Both awards will be given to each blog I write about...each is that amazing!

I must award both Frank (@FrankDickinson) and RuthAnn (@RuthAnnD) with both awards as well. I discovered both on Twitter. During the time I came across both, I was doing a great deal of soul searching and asking myself if I was ready to return and do work with Hospice groups. I've been fund raising and event planning for various benefits but I had kept away as Volunteer coordinator and volunteer work because I wasn't shure if I was ready to return. I remember writing about this. I actually read their blogs before I added each to my Twitter stream.  Each offered a piece to the puzzle of inspiration that I needed at the time. Since then, I always look forward to their blog updates. So thank you Frank & RuthAnn!

*Showers and Sunflowers: I have been following Jude (@HipieChickJude) since my LiveJournal days. I have an amazing connection with Jude. When I first read her words, it was as though I knew her all my Life. She's always been there when I needed support. She's always been there and offered support even when I didn't ask. It's as though she knew I did. We've chatted on the phone various times. I'm honored to have Jude in my Life. She is my Sunflower Angel. Thank you, Jude!

*Jemfyr: Vision, taste, texture and fragrant life!: I met Lynette through my Twitter feed as well. I love her writing. She adds textures and Love to her poems. Read her words you can almost taste, feel, hear, see, & touch the Joy. Experience her Love...visit her blog!

*KellyOlexa.com - Body:  I adore Kelly. She has really helped me with my everyday physical being. I so want to train harder & eat properly. She is my insight to better Living. Thanks Kelly for all your help!

*Matt, Liz and Madeline: I came across Matt's blog after reading about his story on another blog. I read his story and cried with sadness & joy. I won't give anything away in case you are not familiar with Matt's Life. Inspiritation & joy is all within his blog.

If you have free time and want to help others, I highly suggest you offer yourself and donate time to a good cause. Various non profit organizations need bodies to help spread their cause. You can make a difference. It doesn't matter what it is, just get out there and feel good about donating your time and service. I promise you...what you get back is truly immeasurable.

*VolunteerMatch.org

*NetworkForGood.org

I wish I could sit down and just write blog posts like I use to. I actually have many things and topics to write about. Seems the posts dont escape from my head and notes. I MUST CHANGE THIS! Time to head out of office and spend time with Hospice patients and families. Thanks for sharing. Enjoy the Moment!

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: A Fine Frenzy's You Picked Me
Current Mood: Thankful & Inspired

Father, Faith, & Reflections

Picture Taken on Dec. 25th, 1998

***Random Play
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Corrinne May: Beautiful Seed
*Sade: Lovers Rock
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Sharleen Spiteri: Melody
*Sarah McLachlan: Afterglow

Today is the last day of 2008. I've been up for most of the night catching up on work and trying to stay ahead so that I can have a few more days in relaxed mode. As I did my work, I found myself asking, "Xavier, are you wiser now than you were a year ago?" I don't know if I am wiser but I do know that I am emotionally more grounded than I was a year ago. This time last year, I was grieving over the death of my Father. For much of last year, the roles were reversed...I found myself playing the Father figure and my Father became the child. I knew that there would be a day when the tables would be turned, but I didn't expect it to unfold the way it did.

Father was connected to Mother Earth in the sense that he loved to work on various projects. He loved being outdoors. He enjoyed building things. He took pride in being his own person. He was the drummer, brass and woodwind sections of his own band. He was intelligent yet he was much of a simple man. He lived for his family. I was proud to be his son yet I feared that I wouldn't measure up to be the man he'd expect from his only son.

Months before he passed away, Father and I had various heart to heart conversations. We said everything that needed to be said. We held nothing back. He asked me if I was happy in this world. I didn't quite know how to answer because I didn't know how to answer to my Father. He looked right at me and said, "When I'm gone, I want you to be happy and feel connected with your life. I thank God for allowing me to be your Father. Continue to do me proud, Son." He gave me a smile and our eyes met. At that moment, we both knew that we didn't have much time. I held his hand and gave him reasons why God gave him life and made him my Father. It was conversation that plays over and over in my head.

At the Memorial service, I remember feeling numb. I knew I had to be strong for my Mother, Sister, and nieces but I was weak inside. I cry at the drop of hat. All it takes is a sentimental tv commercial and I'm teary eyed. Through most of the service, I tried to take in as many happy memories of Father and our family together. I can recall arriving on a trip during the Summer of 2007 and he was proud that I lost 60 something pounds. He said that I finally looked like him. A compliment that I'll never forget. As a fat child and teenager, he always reminded me that I was too big and that it wouldn't help me out in life. He'd say, "I don't want people to look at my Son and say he's weak. I want people to be mezmorized by this spirit." During this last 18 months of life, I knew that there was a possibility that he would lose his life to Cancer...so I did all I can to look good for myself and my Father.

So here I sit...about 15 pounds heavier than I was at this time last year. I'm not proud of this but I am determined to change that. It helps that I can actually see difference and changes due to a scale and body measurements. It's much harder to determine and answer a question such as 'Are you wiser now than you were a year ago?'

Before my own battle with Cancer, I was on a selfish journey. During Cancer, I learned the truth about the meaning of Life. It never fails, just when I feel as though I understand all the twists and curves of life, I'm thrown for another loop. I do know that Change is inevitable and I need to adjust like a feather fluttering in the wind. Since my Father passed away, I have felt a stronger bond to God, the Virgin Mary, my Angels and Patron Saints. So many other things happened since my Father passed away that aren't really important at this time. Why? Because things have sorted themselves out. Many things in my life are better now than they've ever been. I'm blessed for allowing myself to feel, think, and properly respond. I've always said that it's not about the moments but how we react to them. I had to climb from a few dark corners to really understand what that meant. I know that I'm strong enough to handle anything. Anything.

I am ready to take my whole life to the next level. Time to take this Xavierism model and see what I can really do. So many projects are heading my way. So many things on my To Do List. I am excited about 2009. Thank you to those of you that have allowed me to share with you. I look foward to sharing in the New Year. I've learned from every one that's touched my life. Here's to us...may the Blessings continue throughout the New Year!

PS...I must admit I've held up damn well these past 10 years. Praise, Baby!

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Laura Maire's In Code
Current Mood: Contemplative, Sleepy, & Hopeful

Thoughts on My Birthday

Baby Xavier on his 1st Birthday

***Random Play
*Maureen Murphy: Won't Wait Around EP
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Guyton Maurice: 20 Questions
*Mozella: I Will
*Sia: Some People Have Real Problems
*Melissa Polinar: Sound Vault Sessions EP

Last night I caught myself asking God for a Bubble Gum wish. With every thing happening in the world, I couldn't believe I was asking him for such a self pity wish. I was reminded immediately of an episode of Touch By An Angel when Tess says, "God is not a vending machine where you stick in your prayer and pull out your prize." That's so true. I remember as a kid and didn't want to go to school the following morning, I'd make silly deals with God. My favourite one that I can remember was "God, If you make it so that I wake up and it's Sunday again, I promise to be good when it's Monday, okay?"

One of my favourite chores to do around the house is to hang the clothes to dry on the breeze catcher. Doing so reminds me of childhood memories when Buelita would wash clothes out on her back yard. She would hand wash the clothes on an old time washing machine. Then she would hang the clothes on the clothes lines. I remember walking up and down the rows as the clothes would dry. On windy days, the coolness of the damps clothes would feel good against my arms and face. On those same windy days, the wind chimes would be ringing and ringing. It's as though they were singing and sharing their own story. To this day, I hear wind chimes and I think of my Buelita.

Today is another Birthday. I'm a year old yet I'm better looking than ever. How ever God manages that, I'll never know...but I'm thankful! I'm in my 40's yet my spirit is like that of a teenager's. I remember the growing years where we'd play with the neighbourhood children until it was time to come in to eat dinner with the family. Board games were part of our culture. Riding bicycles up and down the street was actually fun and worthwhile. During summers, Mother would make popsicles from the Tupperware molds.

I'm another year older...but so much younger inside. I'm a responsible adult but deep down the child in me lives on through my wonderful memories. I'm blessed to state that I could never blame a thing on my childhood. Love was abundance. The only thing that is different this birthday that all the others is that I won't get to hear my Father say, "Happy Birthday, Son!". It's been seven months since he's passed on and my life feels somewhat incomplete. Although I've felt that emptiness since Buelita's death. It's a comfort that she comes to me in dreams. I've sensed her from time to time...so I know her love is always with me.

All in all, I'm blessed to be where I'm at in this world. I wouldn't want to be in my 20's. I wouldn't want to be someone else. I may envy someone else's waist size but I wouldn't want to be that person. I'm happy being me. At the end of the day, I thank God for blessing me with two wonderful parents. Like all my other Birthdays, I do not celebrate another year of my life, I celebrate that life that was given to me by my parents & God.

Thank you for the phone calls, emails, text messages, ecards, comments, and the love today. You've made me feel special. I'm honoured to have the people I call friends and family in my life. Thank you!

To all the Americans, embrace and Have a wonderful 4th of July! May Americans and this government wake up and realize that so much of this world could care less about democracy. It's time that the US stood firm and proud again. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else other than The United States of America!

*****BLESSINGS!*****

Current Music: Laura Marie's In Code
Current Mood: Blessed, Thirsty, & Hot!