Xavierism

Ella & Kylie Enjoying Saturday Football!

Ella & Kylie Enjoying Saturday Football! from Xavierism on Vimeo.

The Little Things in Life

Our Baby Ella...She's a True Joy!

***Listening to SomaFM's Beat Blender station.

I have so enjoyed the change of seasons. It seems like it took forever for Fall to officially arrive here in Phoenix. It felt great to finally use the duvet cover as a blanket. Woke up this morning with a chilly feeling and was happy to dig out the sweats from the storage containers in the closet. Ahhh...gotta love the surround wrap of warmth.

This week has been special to my spirit. I have lathered myself a calmness that was missing from my Life last week. Frustration set in last week when a client's database agent spilled water on my cell phone. I was listening in to calls and while I stepped away from this agent's desk, she spilled water on Blackberry. I can deal with small accidents but I can't deal with how things are handled to correct matters. The General Manager of the department basically insisted that I deal with db agent directly. First of all, this db agent was new and feared that she may lose her job. Second, things happen so I didn't think this was going to be a such a big deal. Long story short, this matter was resolved and company has now paid for a new cell phone.

So while I allowed frustration to slowly become a cloud around me much like the cartoon character, Pig-Pen, from Peanuts, I shared an evening with the Mother of a Hospice patient. This beautiful woman is about to lose her only son and child. She recently lost her husband and now she will have to prepare herself for another loss in her life. I could feel the pain of her tears as they poured down from her face. Suddenly the cell phone drama wasn't a big deal. As I listened to her, I felt a calm and loving feeling take over. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. Empathy took over my spirit. We spent a few hours chatting in the living room while her son slept in his room. She shared stories about his childhood and accomplishments. She turned to me for support but realized that I needed her just as much.

We get so lost in this jungle of Life. The Little Things in Life seem to be misplaced or tucked away until we're ready to open that box or when we need to escape from our hectic lives. I used to enjoy so many hobbies that I allowed Life to take me away from certain joys. I miss those little things in my life.

For two weeks, I have now worked my hardest during the days. Soon as I head home, I do all I can to complete my work and gather what I need for the following day's To Do List. As much as I love sharing things on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites, I felt that I needed to enjoy my private time just as much. During the evenings, I have caught up on emails, reading my favourite blogs, and writing letters. I've also let go of so many things that I will never use again. It felt great to donate all these items to Goodwill. I want to remain real to myself. I've been reading more, listening to my fave music, and working on a business plan for various projects that have been dancing in my head for quite some time. I am getting a big kick out of sorting through all my pictures. I almost burned my pics from the 80's. Those will be forever locked in the Vault of Xavierism!

I'm thankful for the wonderful friends and family members that are part of my Life. I'm thankful to have a partner that puts up with me. Bless his heart. Thank you for The Little Things in Life. They give me more reason to embrace the Big Things in my Life.

Current Music: Lamb's Softly
    Current Mood: Blessed & Happy!

Proud to be Latino

***Random Play
*Celia Chavez: Sailor's Daughter
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Salvador: Aware
*Nichole Nordeman: Woven & Spun
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Paolo Nutini: Sunny Side Up

Like so many other Hispanics, I was glued to the television so I could watch CNN's Soledad O'brien's Latino in America. I was watching this show along with many of my Latino Brothers and Sisters. Thanks to the social network power of Twitter, we were able to share in real time. Actually, most shared their thoughts while I sat back and watched the show.

From what I gathered so many Hispanics felt that their similar Life history wasn't revealed within any of the stories shared. While I did agree with this take, I also felt that the show didn't take me on a journey of any sorts. Yes, it shared life stories about those that struggled to find a place within our American society but I wanted to feel the human interest element about every day Hispanics coping with every day life. 

I was expecting to watch a story about a single young Latina woman raising her children on her own and working a full time job. To share her powerful story...an every day struggle that women of all colours can relate and understand. I know so many of these Hispanic women. These woman can't even enjoy a time out because she has to deal with Life in the moment. Stories about Mothers that thank God that their teenage sons return home at the end of the day for fear of gangs and it's 'dark alley'. This was far from what I expected. It seems as though I had a whole show playing in my head and it was nothing like the segment I watched on CNN.

I know numerous Hispanic people that could be considered mentors for our young youth. Many that would inspire those of all ages. I wanted to watch stories that would have me cheering for my brothers and sisters as I would a football game. I wanted to be proud of our those that were part of Soledad's story. Instead, I was left feeling as though I watched a bad movie and kept asking myself, "Was that it?"

I was blessed to be born into an amazing family. I grew up to believe that Education was the key. What I learned early on was that Education also came in the form of every day Life's experiences. Since I was a young child, I knew I was gay. I didn't know the 'what' or 'why' details but I knew I was different from most of the boys. I can remember being ridiculed for 'being different'. I now know that these feelings caused me to be an emotional eater and the main reason for being overweight during those years. I was up to 250 when graduated high school. I am so thankful for my Catholic faith. Yes, I am very thankful that my Buelita raised me to believe in Angels and Saints. Because of her, I believe my Faith in God, helped me through so many dark moments.

After battles with Cancer, I believe that I am here for a reason. I'm here to share, inspire, and be inspired. Latinos, like every colour and nationality, we want to be respected. We are more than just a maid, gardener, or gang member on a TV show. Maybe I do have more stories to share...

Final thought? I want thank those Latinos that have inspired me throughout my Life. I want to thank those Latinos/Latinas of today that inspire me to be a better person tomorrow. I'm proud to be surrounded by so many Brothers and Sisters that are doing just that. I'm one of 51 million Latinos in American. I'm proud to be Latino.

    Current Music: Laura Marie's In Code

Current Mood: Proud

Phoenix October

A blossom from our Stepelia Gigantea succulent.

***Random Play
*Aly Tadros: Things Were Keeping
*Rosie Thomas: These Friends of Mine
*Marie Digby: Unfold
*Patsy Moore: The Most Private Confessions of Saint Clair
*Jason Mraz: We Sing We Dance We Steal Things
*Diana Winter: Escapizm

There's a hurricane taking place within my mind. A huge whirlwind of thoughts and ideas bouncing around the walls of this hard head. I'm actually excited about the possibilities of certain projects. It's all so kewly cool!

I decided it was time to mix up this blog a bit and change things. I believe I will stick with this design for a while. I am working on various projects and doing a great deal of promo and booking for a few up and coming Singer/songwriters. I look forward to sharing soon.

I can't believe I've been blogging on Typepad for over 3 years. Prior to this site, I enjoyed blogging on LiveJournal.com. After five years on that site, I felt it was time to move my writings and thoughts to independent site. I felt more of an obligation to interact with a huge friends list rather than invest time within myself. I quickly learned that I had to find a place where I could be happy with my thoughts. I continue to believe that Typepad is the perfect home for me.

Our various Succulent plants continue to surprise us with beautiful blossoms. I'll have to take pics of our other plants. Spend time taking care of Mother Nature and her children and she'll bless you with precious gems.

Time to get back to work. Thank you for allowing me to share with each of you.

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Diana Winter's September Song

Current Mood: Happy Go Hungry

Phoenix September

***Random Play
*Salvador: Aware
*Sheila Kirsten Hughes: Perspectives
*Rachael Yamagata: Sinking Teeth Into Heart
*Charlotte Martin: On Your Shore
*Plumb: Blink
*Ferras: Aliens & Rainbows

Best part of Sunday is waking up knowing that it's Sunday. Really. I start off each morning with prayers & meditation. The smell of coffee brewing throughout the house always awakens my spirit. Sunday mornings are no different. There's an inner connection with my spiritual side that seems to look forward to Sundays.

Yesterday morning, I ran four miles. Yes, it's just 4 miles but that's a mini marathon for me. Getting back into running has been a huge process for me. I've had to first work on nutrition. I gained weight and I could feel the heaviness with each step. I feel so frustrated when I allow myself to emotionally dismiss the things I need to do to feel better about myself. To get back on track, I've lost weight and am doing my best to eat better. Thanks to a fabulous trainer, I've placed myself on a program. I am running more often. I have built up to running 4 miles at a comfortable pace. For now, it's not about the pace or time but all about feeling in sync with my body as I run. So yesterday's four mile run was a huge milestone. Waking up this morning and not feeling any aches in my body was a huge bonus. I want to bottle this 'physical high'. Instead, I'll have to remind myself that reaching goals always pays off. Always.

From what I can remember Phoenix in September has always been an exciting month. One feels the coming of Fall. Throughout this month, I can't really tell that the temperatures are cooling off. I can feel the shift because I'm always up early mornings but then it's simply a tease because the temps return to the low 100's during the day. I can also feel the difference because I can no longer enjoy night swims in our pool. I could try but permanent shrinkage would occur. I love Summers but give me my Fall season.

I have great memories from Summer of 2009. More so, I learned valuable lessons about Life & friendships. Amazing how you click so well with certain few so quick only to find out that those same friendships were never meant to be.  Throughout my story of Xavierism, I've found when this does happen, I'm blessed with a replacement...and that person usually becomes a fixture in my life. Fate knows. I won't mess with it. I simply thank God & angels for allowing me to have such great relationships in my Life.

Sunday evening. Rodan is at work. I'm here by the pool enjoying a glass of wine. Did you really believe I was going to cut wines out completely while I train for a marathon? If so, you're crazy.

Okay, time to finish this glass of wine and enjoy a small bowl of Butter Pecan ice cream.

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Charlotte Martin's Every Time It Rains
Current Mood: Chilled

Ella & Kylie Having a Snack while Watching a Judge Judy episode

Ella on 12seconds.tv

Since mid week, I've been nursing a bad cold. I've worked from home and have been determined to stay home bound till I get better. While Rodan is at work, I've enjoyed the company of Omar, Kylie, & Baby Ella. I had to share this clip.

*CHEERS*

Last Night...

Last night during the rain storm, I hurried home so I could enjoy the thunder & rain. Once home, I found myself in the mood for Carole King's Tapestry CD. After the storm, I cleaned the pool and enjoyed a quiet evening in the pool. So Far Away is still stuck in my head.

Thanks for following along and sharing with me. I'm blessed to have such fabulous friends & readers in my corner. Enjoy the weekend!

*****CHEERS!*****

Fab Friday Night

I enjoyed another fabulous Friday evening with real friends. Fabulous food, great conversation, and awesome music at a friend's gig. Overall, it's been a great Friday.

All day, I've had Diana Winter's September Song playing in my head. I love this Italian Musical Diva. Give her a listen & enjoy. Cheers!

Current Music: Diana Winter's September Song
Current Mood: Happy & Content

All The Way

***Random Play
*A Fine Frenzy: One Cell In The Sea
*Sheila Kirsten Hughes: Perspectives
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Aly Tadros: Things Worth Keeping
*Salvador: Aware
*Celia Chavez: Sailor's Daughter

Time is cruel. Rather that's why I say every time I look into the mirror. Gray hairs are popping up like weeds in one's garden. A new wrinkle on face is given it's own name. Cruel. I remember things from grade school. I can remember how I felt at certain moments in time. Close my eyes and I'm back to the moment when my heart was broken for the first time. The 2nd time. The last time I spoke to my Buelita. The moment that I realized Mother and I have similar looking hands. Grand moments in my book.

The Little things. Like the title of my last blog post, I have really thought about the small blessings that I have taken for granted. It's no secret that I have always wanted to be a Father. I've always pictured that I would have a beautiful little girl. It never happened but am blessed to have three beautiful nieces. It's not the same but it's a grand blessing.

Other people actually have kids. I have three cockatoos. Three little feathered angels. I recently had another dream about St. Scholastica. Like the other dreams, she and I are sitting on the same bench surrounded by a beautiful garden. So many little pigeons, doves and smaller birds are in plain view. She gave me a few words of wisdom and inspiration. Just like the other dreams, I turn away to look at the garden and when I look back at St. Scholastica, she's gone. Every time I have these dreams, I truly feel her Love.

Working with Hospice groups, I also do my share as a volunteer. I have spent time with a few Hospice patients this week. On Tuesday, I had lunch with the Mother of a Hospice patient. She didn't ask for anything...she simply wanted to be heard. She had so much anger at God and this world. She simply wanted someone to listen. I sat. We cried. I gave her a grand hug. Every time I meet with family members or friends of Hospice patients, I always feel as though I should gain something from each experience. 

Busy lives. Busy people. Interaction between neighbours and is a thing of the past. It's great to see that Social Media is bringing people together. I believe that I am pretty good at keeping in touch with good friends. The Little Things seem to be grand things in my life right now. It's the little things that give me Faith & Hope. I am thankful that I can get lost in the sea of my blessings.

Take what you gather from this post. Remember that we each have so much to be thankful for...we really do. I woke up and immediately gave thanks to God, my Angels and Saints for allowing me to be part of this day. I look forward to today's challenges. Life is beautiful. Sometimes we must reflect to see & feel the beauty of it all.

Current Music: Salvador's Here I am
Current Mood: Thankful

The Little Things

 

***Random Play
*Celia Chavez: Sailor's Daughter
*Dave Yaden: Bear Me Up
*A Fine Frenzy: One Cell In The Sea
*Salvador: Aware
*Nichole Nordeman: Woven & Spun
*Diana Winter: Escapizm

I received word yesterday that a good friend's sister died. She battled an aggressive Cancer. She was diagnosed 6 months ago and gave her last breath this past Wednesday. She was not a Hospice patient. She was fighting this demon within her body. When I saw her a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but notice her beautiful smile. She was weak from chemotherapy and radiation but her Grace & Love for Life was evident. I called her last week and shared a 5 minute conversation. I mentioned that I would be there to see her soon. I never had the chance to see her again. Her beautiful smile and spirit now lives within me.

I understand and know that every family is different. My friend is a a down to earth man. His Sister was a beautiful person inside and out. Yet their family is not able to share the Love amongst themselves. This family was not close. When I went over yesterday to offer my condolences, the family members kept to themselves. No emotions. No hugging. Nothing. I found it odd. Conversation was about everything else other than the reason we were brought together. As much as I work with Hospice, I understand that such families exist. I never expected to feel or see experience such actions from this particular family.

We always believe that Time is on our side until something happens. I'm thankful that I was brought up to show and share my emotions. My family is far from perfect but our lines of communication are always open. The older I get, the more vulnerable my heart is. Empathy grows.

Each day I learn. I suppose it's the way it's supposed to go. I am grateful for the Love of God, Angels, Patron Saints, family & great friends. Real friends.

I'm blessed.

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Sheila Kirsten Hughes' Let It Rain Down
Current Mood: Blessed