Xavierism

The Little Things in Life

Our Baby Ella...She's a True Joy!

***Listening to SomaFM's Beat Blender station.

I have so enjoyed the change of seasons. It seems like it took forever for Fall to officially arrive here in Phoenix. It felt great to finally use the duvet cover as a blanket. Woke up this morning with a chilly feeling and was happy to dig out the sweats from the storage containers in the closet. Ahhh...gotta love the surround wrap of warmth.

This week has been special to my spirit. I have lathered myself a calmness that was missing from my Life last week. Frustration set in last week when a client's database agent spilled water on my cell phone. I was listening in to calls and while I stepped away from this agent's desk, she spilled water on Blackberry. I can deal with small accidents but I can't deal with how things are handled to correct matters. The General Manager of the department basically insisted that I deal with db agent directly. First of all, this db agent was new and feared that she may lose her job. Second, things happen so I didn't think this was going to be a such a big deal. Long story short, this matter was resolved and company has now paid for a new cell phone.

So while I allowed frustration to slowly become a cloud around me much like the cartoon character, Pig-Pen, from Peanuts, I shared an evening with the Mother of a Hospice patient. This beautiful woman is about to lose her only son and child. She recently lost her husband and now she will have to prepare herself for another loss in her life. I could feel the pain of her tears as they poured down from her face. Suddenly the cell phone drama wasn't a big deal. As I listened to her, I felt a calm and loving feeling take over. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. Empathy took over my spirit. We spent a few hours chatting in the living room while her son slept in his room. She shared stories about his childhood and accomplishments. She turned to me for support but realized that I needed her just as much.

We get so lost in this jungle of Life. The Little Things in Life seem to be misplaced or tucked away until we're ready to open that box or when we need to escape from our hectic lives. I used to enjoy so many hobbies that I allowed Life to take me away from certain joys. I miss those little things in my life.

For two weeks, I have now worked my hardest during the days. Soon as I head home, I do all I can to complete my work and gather what I need for the following day's To Do List. As much as I love sharing things on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites, I felt that I needed to enjoy my private time just as much. During the evenings, I have caught up on emails, reading my favourite blogs, and writing letters. I've also let go of so many things that I will never use again. It felt great to donate all these items to Goodwill. I want to remain real to myself. I've been reading more, listening to my fave music, and working on a business plan for various projects that have been dancing in my head for quite some time. I am getting a big kick out of sorting through all my pictures. I almost burned my pics from the 80's. Those will be forever locked in the Vault of Xavierism!

I'm thankful for the wonderful friends and family members that are part of my Life. I'm thankful to have a partner that puts up with me. Bless his heart. Thank you for The Little Things in Life. They give me more reason to embrace the Big Things in my Life.

Current Music: Lamb's Softly
    Current Mood: Blessed & Happy!

Proud to be Latino

***Random Play
*Celia Chavez: Sailor's Daughter
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Salvador: Aware
*Nichole Nordeman: Woven & Spun
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Paolo Nutini: Sunny Side Up

Like so many other Hispanics, I was glued to the television so I could watch CNN's Soledad O'brien's Latino in America. I was watching this show along with many of my Latino Brothers and Sisters. Thanks to the social network power of Twitter, we were able to share in real time. Actually, most shared their thoughts while I sat back and watched the show.

From what I gathered so many Hispanics felt that their similar Life history wasn't revealed within any of the stories shared. While I did agree with this take, I also felt that the show didn't take me on a journey of any sorts. Yes, it shared life stories about those that struggled to find a place within our American society but I wanted to feel the human interest element about every day Hispanics coping with every day life. 

I was expecting to watch a story about a single young Latina woman raising her children on her own and working a full time job. To share her powerful story...an every day struggle that women of all colours can relate and understand. I know so many of these Hispanic women. These woman can't even enjoy a time out because she has to deal with Life in the moment. Stories about Mothers that thank God that their teenage sons return home at the end of the day for fear of gangs and it's 'dark alley'. This was far from what I expected. It seems as though I had a whole show playing in my head and it was nothing like the segment I watched on CNN.

I know numerous Hispanic people that could be considered mentors for our young youth. Many that would inspire those of all ages. I wanted to watch stories that would have me cheering for my brothers and sisters as I would a football game. I wanted to be proud of our those that were part of Soledad's story. Instead, I was left feeling as though I watched a bad movie and kept asking myself, "Was that it?"

I was blessed to be born into an amazing family. I grew up to believe that Education was the key. What I learned early on was that Education also came in the form of every day Life's experiences. Since I was a young child, I knew I was gay. I didn't know the 'what' or 'why' details but I knew I was different from most of the boys. I can remember being ridiculed for 'being different'. I now know that these feelings caused me to be an emotional eater and the main reason for being overweight during those years. I was up to 250 when graduated high school. I am so thankful for my Catholic faith. Yes, I am very thankful that my Buelita raised me to believe in Angels and Saints. Because of her, I believe my Faith in God, helped me through so many dark moments.

After battles with Cancer, I believe that I am here for a reason. I'm here to share, inspire, and be inspired. Latinos, like every colour and nationality, we want to be respected. We are more than just a maid, gardener, or gang member on a TV show. Maybe I do have more stories to share...

Final thought? I want thank those Latinos that have inspired me throughout my Life. I want to thank those Latinos/Latinas of today that inspire me to be a better person tomorrow. I'm proud to be surrounded by so many Brothers and Sisters that are doing just that. I'm one of 51 million Latinos in American. I'm proud to be Latino.

    Current Music: Laura Marie's In Code

Current Mood: Proud

Now is the Right Time to Help Others...

***Random Play
*Sheila Kirsten Hughes: Perspectives
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Nichole Nordeman: Woven & Spun
*Salvador: Aware
*Eliza Rickman: Gild The Lily
*A Fine Frenzy: One Cell In The Sea

This is my Life. It's not always about the moments but rather how I react to the moments and situations. I'm thankful and blessed for having such a wonderful support system. Family and good friends really keep me grounded. I always feel God, angels & my Patron Saints on my side. The Love is amazing.

If ever I had a problem with a friend, I would always care to confront and discuss so that we can get back on track. I've learned that one can't always do that with certain friends. There are those that simply cannot communicate in a manner that would allow for an open discussion. So I simply do the emotional downgrades and let things rest. One case, my good friend Stephanie emphasized how toxic a certain friend was...and it wasn't until former friend unleashed her true colours did I realize that Steph was right. This person is no longer in my Life. It's true what they say, we learn from each person that walks into our lives.

Open doors to the heart and good things will come. I believe this. I'll never forget a quote that Miki Howard wrote in her CD sleeve notes on her first CD: 'Everyone that says they're a friend doesn't mean they're your friend.' Great quote. I finally had a chance to thank Miki Howard in person after a concert and she looked directly at me and said, "Baby, don't ever forget it. You deserve the best people within your inner circle." That advice has stuck with me for years. Thanks, Miki! Bottom line, I'm blessed to have such great people in my Life!

I would like to thank Frank Dickinson, writer and blog owner of All About The Energy for giving me a Lovely Blog Award. His amazing wife, Ruth Ann, writer and blog owner of RuthAnn's Journey has awarded my blog with an Attitude & Gratitude Award. Thanks to the both of you for such honors. Thank you!

I will gladly display both awards on my blog and pass the Awards to other Blogs that I love and/or have newly discovered. Both awards will be given to each blog I write about...each is that amazing!

I must award both Frank (@FrankDickinson) and RuthAnn (@RuthAnnD) with both awards as well. I discovered both on Twitter. During the time I came across both, I was doing a great deal of soul searching and asking myself if I was ready to return and do work with Hospice groups. I've been fund raising and event planning for various benefits but I had kept away as Volunteer coordinator and volunteer work because I wasn't shure if I was ready to return. I remember writing about this. I actually read their blogs before I added each to my Twitter stream.  Each offered a piece to the puzzle of inspiration that I needed at the time. Since then, I always look forward to their blog updates. So thank you Frank & RuthAnn!

*Showers and Sunflowers: I have been following Jude (@HipieChickJude) since my LiveJournal days. I have an amazing connection with Jude. When I first read her words, it was as though I knew her all my Life. She's always been there when I needed support. She's always been there and offered support even when I didn't ask. It's as though she knew I did. We've chatted on the phone various times. I'm honored to have Jude in my Life. She is my Sunflower Angel. Thank you, Jude!

*Jemfyr: Vision, taste, texture and fragrant life!: I met Lynette through my Twitter feed as well. I love her writing. She adds textures and Love to her poems. Read her words you can almost taste, feel, hear, see, & touch the Joy. Experience her Love...visit her blog!

*KellyOlexa.com - Body:  I adore Kelly. She has really helped me with my everyday physical being. I so want to train harder & eat properly. She is my insight to better Living. Thanks Kelly for all your help!

*Matt, Liz and Madeline: I came across Matt's blog after reading about his story on another blog. I read his story and cried with sadness & joy. I won't give anything away in case you are not familiar with Matt's Life. Inspiritation & joy is all within his blog.

If you have free time and want to help others, I highly suggest you offer yourself and donate time to a good cause. Various non profit organizations need bodies to help spread their cause. You can make a difference. It doesn't matter what it is, just get out there and feel good about donating your time and service. I promise you...what you get back is truly immeasurable.

*VolunteerMatch.org

*NetworkForGood.org

I wish I could sit down and just write blog posts like I use to. I actually have many things and topics to write about. Seems the posts dont escape from my head and notes. I MUST CHANGE THIS! Time to head out of office and spend time with Hospice patients and families. Thanks for sharing. Enjoy the Moment!

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: A Fine Frenzy's You Picked Me
Current Mood: Thankful & Inspired

Pass It On. Keep the Joy Flowing...

 

***Random Play
*Nichole Nordeman: The Best of Nichole Nordeman
*Missy Higgins: On A Clear Night
*Texas: The Greatest Hits
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Paolo Nutini: Sunny Side Up
*Nadine Zahr: Underneath The Everyday

So much negativity in this world. You can't get away from it. Gotta strive to bring on positivity in your life and to the lives of others. Working with Hospice groups has taught me to be thankful about my own Life & blessings.

I thought about Tyler Hurst's (@tdhurst) blog post, Smile at a Stranger. What a great post. It's short, simple and to the point. Read it.

I'll be spending time with a few Hospice patients today. When I'm with each patient, I try to give them all I have. I want each patient to know that they brought & gave and continue to give something to this world. I let each patient know they had a purpose in this world and that I'm still learning from each. 

Compassion & Empathy...it feeds my Hope & Faith. I have a purpose and mission today...to keep the Joy flowing.

Smile...allow others to feel the Happiness. Thanks for sharing.

****Cheers!*****

Current Music: Texas' Say What You Want
Current Mood: Happy Go Lucky & Hungry!

Cherish This Moment

~Edit: I wrote this earlier this morning but forgot to post it. Duh!~

***Coffee of the Day: Gevalia Cinnamon coffee & Chocolate Toffee Cream

***Random Play
*Christopher Jak: The New Nostalgia
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Melissa Polinar: Into EP
*Eliza Rickman: Gild The Lily
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Josh Damigo: Raw

I woke up before the sound of birds this morning. I wasn't shure what I should do...whether to go back to sleep or stay up. After taking a walk around our yard and pool, I decided to go for an early morning run. Instead of headphones and music while I ran, I wanted to mediate and really listen to my body.

I thought about the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Like so many baby boomers, I remember both so well from my teenage years. Since my Father passed away in 2007, I now view death in such a different manner. In recent years, I've lost a Grandfather and two grandmothers. Losing my Buelita, my Father's mother, was an emotional turning point. I felt as though I lost one of my dearest and most treasured cheerleaders in Life when she died. I didn't realize that losing one's parent would leave such a huge empty spot in my Life. That's exactly how I felt when Father physically left this world.

Since my college days, I've worked with various Hospice organizations. I've been present while many patients have crossed over. It's a beautiful experience when a loved one has passed on and family members surround their loved one with so much Love. There's a peace that's present. A calming peace.

I currently work with a Hospice group as a Volunteer coordinator and a volunteer. When Father died, I took a break. I didn't feel strong enough to deal with the sorrow of others and their families. Earlier this way, I witnessed a good friend fight as Cancer patient to gracefully accepting that the disease would soon take her Life.

Where am I going with this? I'm getting there. I knew friends that lost parents but I never knew the pain and loss that one feels when a parent dies. That all changed. I truly have empathy for those that lose a parent. My Father was a good man. I was blessed to have such an amazing Father figure in my Life. So when I heard the death of a celebrity, family member, or friend, I always remember that the person we lost was someone's Father, Mother, Grandparent, Brother, Sister, Husband, Wife, or Child. I was really put off by so many that thought it was a appropriate to make jokes about Michael Jackson's death. I wasn't a big fan of his but when the news broke of his death, a visual immediately came to mind. It was the memory of my Father's body in a body bag on a stretcher on it's way to the funeral home.

Yesterday, friends and myself learned on Twitter.com that Megan Porter, @megapixel, was killed in a car accident. We never had the pleasure of meeting in person but we did have one phone conversation and countless of chats. She was only 24 years young. I will miss her a great deal. That's far too young to leave this world.  I know that she would want me to Live & enjoy Life to the fullest. It serves as a reminder that if you love someone, let them know. Allow yourself to express your Love to your loved ones. You may not have tomorrow to do just that.

Today, I thank God, my Angels & Saints, for allowing me to cherish this moment.

Current Music: Laura Marie's In Code
Current Mood: Loved & Blessed

Back it up, Back it up!

A Moment with Vanessa at Side Bar.

It's been a good day. I gotta admit that Twitter.com has saved my sanity. Things may not go my way or as planned yet I always have distractions of the best kind. Thanks to all those that I follow and follow me on the site.

I should have learned a lesson from others that recommended backing up one's computer system. Usually people warn and instruct others to do so after they lost valuable information because they didn't do that themselves Well folks, I'm telling you from personal experience, back up your systems! I was trying to import info from laptop to netbook and CRASH! Laptop crashed and I couldn't save a darn file. Long story short, I had to do a recovery on my laptop. I lost everything. So if you're a reader of my blog, please feel free to send me an email (xavier@xavierism.com) with your contact info or comment with your email address. I'd so appreciate it.

Thankful to a great weekend. I spent most of my time with Rodan's family and close friends. Our pool was the setting for the best of conversations & good times. I look forward to Summer!

*Menu Plan Monday thanks to Orgjunkie.com. So many bloggers participate in this affair. Plan your menu for the week and browse Laura's site. Check out all those that participate and get wonderful ideas for all upcoming meals of the week. I look forward to trying out so many. Below is my Dinner Menu for the week:

*Monday: Pot Roast

*Tuesday: Mandarin Chicken Salads

*Wednesday: Ground Turkey/ Taco seasoned & Pasta

*Thursday: Mushroom Cigars & Chicken Strips with Mango Curry

*Friday: Homemade Supreme Pizza

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Carole King's So Far Away playing in my head
Current Mood: Happy, Happy!

Inspiration Motivates & Moves Me...

At Old Point Loma Lighthouse in San Diego

***Random Play
*Eliza Rickman: Gild The Lily
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Jon McLaughlin: OK Now
*Carrie Catherine: Green Eyed Soul
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Jason Mraz: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.

Today has been a great start to a new week. I'm feeling a bit blah because of a sore throat and minor cold symptoms but it won't get me down. It was such a pleasure to spend time with Mother last week. I stress so much before she arrives and it's always emotionally hard to see her leave.

It was great to spend time with Mother and Rodan in San Diego. Two day getaway was the perfect & ideal Memorial Day trip. I added a few pictures to my Flickr account. Feel free to add me as a contact. I'd love to share photos with you.

Congrats to those that ran the San Diego PF Chang Marathon this past weekend. This includes Tara, Chic Runner, Aron, and Julianne. Each and others like them serve as my inspiration. So thanks to each of you!

It's a busy work day but I've accomplished a great deal. I am looking forward to today's gym time. I really need to adjust my lifestyle so that I run in the mornings. It's simply not the same when I run during the evenings.

Time to wrap this up and get going. Wishing each of you a fab Monday and a kick ass week.

*****CHEEERS!*****

Current Music: Diana Winter's Cruel
Current Mood: Inspired, Inspired, Inspired!

Takes Me A While...but I Get It!

***Random Play
*Laura Marie: Drawn
*Jon McLaughlin: Ok Now
*Celia Chavez: Sailor's Daughter
*Diana Winter: Escapizm
*Jason Mraz: We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.
*Eliza Rickman: Gild The Lily

I love those moments when an epiphany knocks you with full force on the head. It's a true wake up call. I'm thankful for such moments because it reinforces that I'm on the right track. Nothing worse that insecurities that bring doubt to your mind. So even though every fiber within tells me I should be on another path, I doubt myself and continue doing the same things over and over. It's much like the little hamster that believe he'll get somewhere if he pedals faster going around in circles.

Okay now you're thinking to yourself, "What's that handsome Xavier talking about?" Actually, this can apply to almost anything. In this particular case, it wasn't really a big deal. It's a big deal to me but probably on the same level as a piece of lint to you. Each of us are on a journey trying to conquer and smash our own demons. Anyway, I'll write more when I have time. I just wanted to share these words right now.

I'd like to thank so many of my friends on Twitter and various blogs for allowing me to share and learn. Time to head out. Enjoy your day!

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Jon McLaughlin's Things That You Say
Current Mood: A Kewly Cool Happy state!

On Our Way to Lost Leaf

On Our Way to Lost Leaf on 12seconds.tv

I had a great time Friday evening. I enjoyed special time and dinner with Kat, one of my oldest and dearest friends here in Phoenix. We then headed down to Lost Leaf for a bit of Phoenix Friday Nights fun. It was great to see so many friends. Kat, Marc, and myself decided to have a Chill down at Hob Nobs Coffee House. Good food. Good friends. Great times.

*Song playing in the clip: Diana Winter's Just A Little

Tonight at The Paisley Violin!

I've had a great week sharing and spending time with close friend and LA's Singer/songwriter, Jennifer Vazquez. We seem to be on the same path on your journey and it's been a pleasure sharing with her. Each time she is here, it's as though we share where we've been and we take note of where we'd like to be. We check in often and make shure that the other is heading in the right direction towards our goals.

I set up local Phoenix gigs for Jennifer Vazquez, Coles Whalen, Amber Norgaard, and Sarah Slaton. Gigs at Hob Nobs Coffee House and Cash Inn Country were a great success. Tonight's gig at the The Paisley Violin will be their last performance. I am looking forward to this gig since it is being promoted as well by many on Twitter and Phoenix Friday Nights, a group of individuals that care about Phoenix Downtown Nightlife. So if you're in Phoenix, come and support a wonderful local bistro & indie musicians. Be a part of Phoenix's Downtown Love!

*****CHEERS!*****

Current Music: Diana Winter's Rain
Current Mood: Chilled & Content